Author: HateRabbit

Exchnage links for more ticket sales at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Link exchanges help ticket sales two ways:

How do people find shows at the Edinburgh Festival? Five years ago it was all about flyers and word of mouth. Today more and more people are turning to their phones for information about which shows to see (and to avoid) as well as information, directions, and even buying tickets. Location based services offer us the ability to find the closest theater, the next show playing, the top rated shows and the shows that will appeal to our tastes.

As more and more people turn to their mobile devices for information and reccomendations producers need to figure out how to be the show that comes up when folks search.

The single best thing you can do to increase your chance of being seen is to exchange inks with other shows. Google gives a great deal of weight to what other people think of you. The more related websites point to you the more attention google pays to your site. I will discuss this in greater detail in a moment but first I want to talk about the direct benefit of linking with other sites.

Exchanging links invites users from relevent websites to check out yours.

Link exchanges with other shows at the festival give an opportunity for immediate increase in web traffic. When people go to your site they find the information that they need. They decide if your show will fit in their schedule and if your show is what they want to see. Once they find what they want they leave. They may leave because they are headed to your show or they may leave because they are looking for something else. If they are looking for something else then why not send them to a friend? A partner site. Another show that is like yours but different and that has agreed to send traffic to your site as well.

No one looses in this situation. People who click on the link to the recommended show have already found what they need from your site… They are leaving anyway. So you lose nothing and you gain a partner site who will send traffic your way in exchange. Both shows benefit and so does the user who likes your show and is looking for more of the same… They will thank you for the recommendation. Everybody wins.

Link Exchanges help search engines find you so more people come to your site and more people buy tickets.

Link exchanges are a great way to improve your page ranking on Google and other search engines. This is a longer term benefit than the one mentioned above. According to Google’s website they look for three things. First they look to see if the website that is linking to you has a legitimate reason for the link. If we are both in show business then it makes sense for us to link.

Second they look at the “anchor text”. This is the actual words that are linked. So when you link to a magician’s site you might include the text that looks like this:

(the underlined section is a link to <a href=”http://www.badmagician.com”>http://www.badmagician.com</a>)

I have seen a lot of links like this where the anchor text, that is the actual text which is highlighted and linked to the other page is the part that says “click here to visit this site”. This makes sense to people reading the information but the search engines robots that look to see what is linked will only see that “click here” is linked. They don’t understand that the link to the juggler’s site is about juggling.

Instead it is better to link a sentence to the magician’s site like this:

<span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>Bad Magician is San Francisco’s best magician. Check him out – he does a great show. </span>

Now when the crawl agent looks at the site they see the words “bad magician” “best magician” “san francsico” “great show”. All of these things are linked to bad magician’s site. Now search engines know that at least one person beside the owner of the target site thinks that John’s website is about great magic in San Francisco.

So when someone types :

Best magician San Francisco

Into the search field of their browser the search engine will be more likely to return bad magician as a result.

For my shows in the Edinburgh Festival I have chosen the key words:

Best children’s show Edinburgh festival

For the I Hate Children Children’s Show

And

Best magic show Edinburgh festival

For Devil in the Deck

Hopefully now when people search for the best children’s show at the festival they will be more likely to catch the IHC show.

Now that you know a bit more about how to trade links, lets’ swap.

Send me an email and write something on your website about me with a link to one of my shows and I will return the favor. We will both benefit.

Paul Nathan is the producer of the I Hate Children Children’s Show and Devil in the Deck at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Links:

http://www.ihatechildren.com

http://www.devilinthedeck.com

http://www.badmagician.com

http://www.firemagic.com

Information for writers, bloggers, reviewers, editors, etc. etc. etc.

<img alt=”paul6″ src=”images/stories/paul6.jpg” style=”float: right; margin: 12px;” height=”302″ width=”360″ />This section is for members of the fourth estate. Here you will find images, information, backstories, quotes from the show, and all manner of useful information to help you help us. We invite you to come to the show as our guests or if you would prefer we are happy to send you a DVD of the show at no cost to you.

Essentials

Who: Paul Nathan – John Anaya

What: The I Hate Children Children’s Show

When: 12:15 Daily – Show time 60 minutes (the best hour you will spend since the hour you spent spawning the little monsters)

Where: <a target=”_blank” title=”Find The Pleasance Courtyard and the Beside Theater – Home of the best children’s shows at the festival” href=”http://www.pleasance.co.uk/statics/findus_edinburgh”>Pleasance Courtyard – Beside Theater</a>

Paul can be reached at: paul@ihatechildren.com

What writers need to know about this show

First, The show is funny. Not funny for kids; it’s funny. You will laugh. You will have a good time. You won’t be bored and you won’t want to tear your hair out while some idiot prattles on about rainbows in the kind of sing song voice reserved for children, animals, and adults who ride short busses. Paul is one of the best magicians in the world – not in the UK or in the USA (which is bigger and therefore better than the UK) but in the world, and John is an amazing guitarist whose talents are mostly wasted on tots.&nbsp; We welcome adults and particularly reporters. If you come you will have fun, you will not be accosted or interrupted and you will not regret the experience.

The second thing you need to know is that unlike other shows, we reward folks for nice reviews – I’m talking money, power, romance, we will even tell you how the tricks are done – Think of the name of the show – We obviously have no moral compass so just name your price.

We are here for the money and to meet hot moms who are a little bit bored. In that order.

About the show:

The I Hate Children Children’s Show was born of a gambling debt. Paul Nathan (one of the foremost magicians working in the world today) lost a bet last year and the payoff was creating a kids show for the Edinburgh Festival. The show was so successful that Paul came back this year to milk that kiddy Kash Kow.

Everyone is a star at the I Hate Children Children’s Show

Every show includes comedy, magic, and live music. Every child gets a chance to be on stage and every child gets to have their picture posted on the I Hate Children Website. “I created the show that I never got to see when I was a kid” say’s Edinburgh Festival magician, Paul Nathan “I spent a long time thinking about what I would like and what I would hate if I was a child coming to my first show. Of course what I think doesn’t really matter but judging by the reviews and online comments we nailed it.

Questions and Answers:

Q: Why do you hate children?

Paul: They carry disease, make noise, and pay concession price. JK, we don’t hate children, we hate bad children and the parents who spawn them.

John: We don’t really hate children. I am a father and Paul is probably a father.

Q: What’s different this year?

Paul: New magic, live music, more tears (from me – backstage).

John: This year there are more changes, both on stage and off than ever before. The obvious change is the move to The Pleasance. We loved working with the Zoo but The Pleasance has a children’s program and that is very exciting for us. The other exciting news is that we produced a children’s album this year called The I Hate Children Children’s Album. Best news of all… Paul does not sing on the album.

<div></div>

<div>Paul: Yes. The album is big news. John has pulled together a bunch of scruffy misfits and somehow sobered them up long enough to drop a few earworms on the kiddy music market.&nbsp; My favorite song is one that John wrote after watching Jamie Oliver and a documentary about garden pests.&nbsp; John wanted to help Jamie Oliver to get kids to eat healthier and realized that they are missing out on an obvious source of protein which is, coincidentally, ravaging gardens.&nbsp; The resulting song, Slugs are Yummy promises to be a big hit with the under twelve crowd.&nbsp;</div>

John: We have a lot going on backstage as well. Kamee Abrahamian joins us this year as associate producer. She is smoking hot and doing an amazing job of reaching out to other troupes to do marketing together. We also got a new staff writer named Thomas Truman John (TJ). He has written a bunch of new stuff and gotten Paul excited about writing.

Q: You are mainly an adult performers, how did you come up with the idea for a children’s show?

Paul: I lost a bet.

Q: Last year a fist fight broke out between parents who wanted tickets to your sold out show, do you expect that to happen again?

Paul: Obviously we frown on that sort of thing (at least publicly) but I have to admit that I was a little bit proud. To think that a couple of dads loved their children so much that they did not want to deny them a chance to see the best children’s show in the festival was sort of heartening in a dark and not good parenting sort of way. We are in a bigger theater this year. Also, I have asked the staff not to sell beer to folks in line before the show. That should keep things civil.

Q: What are you most proud of in this show?

Paul: Three things. First I am proud of the magic in the show. It’s top drawer. Second, I think I created the show that I wish I would have seen when I was younger. Third, I’m really proud of the fact that every child gets to be a star in the show (if only briefly).

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<div><strong>Q: How did you come up with the idea to put the children’s pictures on the website?</strong></div>

<div>Paul: It happened organically.&nbsp; We needed photos for the website so we shot the first show.&nbsp; Parents and children were excited to have the photos online where they could see them and show them to friends. So we decided to do it for every show.</div>

Q: What about the controversy surrounding the images of the children being posted online?

Paul: I think giving the kids a place where they can see and show the pictures of them starring in a show is wonderful. Of course everyone is told what is going on. No parents have ever asked us not to take pictures with the kids (we ask) and no one has asked us to take any of the pictures down. So it seems that the kids like it, the parents like it. If one or two of the reviewers thinks it is “questionable” then they have a responsibility to say so. Ultimately even the reviewers who called us out on the policy really loved the show. I think they put it in as a caution to parents who are trepidatious about photos of their kids online. We want parents to know what is happening. We don’t want them to be surprised or uncomfortable, so utltimately they did us a favor by pointing it out. If parents know what is happening in advance then they can talk to us after the show and we will delete the photos or email the pictures to them directly and not put them online. Everyone wins.

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Naturally we have not finished the press page yet because we are lazy don’t want to succeed. But rest assured that we will have more up here in the next couple of days. In the mean time feel free to send us an email or call the box office at:
0131 556 6550

<img style=”margin: 5px; float: left;” alt=”10121″ src=”images/galleries/2011/2011-08-07/10121.jpg” height=”247″ width=”369″ />Due to some controversy surrounding the posting of guest’s images online we want to take a moment to clarify our policy on posting children’s images here. All joking aside, we take the issue of privacy very seriously, both yours and our own.

We post images of our young guests starring in the show because we think this will be fun and exciting for them. We invite every young member of the audience to help out with a trick on stage and we photograph each of them and post the pictures of our stars here in our galleries. We are very clear in advance of the show, during the show and at the end of the show that no one has to have their picture taken or posted here on our website. If you have been to the show then you know that we are very clear about this.

Everyone is informed and no one has to have their picture taken or posted here.

Everyone is given the option to see us after the show and ask us to delete photos privately so they are not embarrassed.

Everyone can email us and ask us to take down photos that we post online at any time.

If you want us to delete a photo of you or your child please send us an email through our contact page and we are happy to delete the image.

We are here to have fun and we want you and yours to have fun.&nbsp; We hope that seeing yourselves as part of the show here online is a positive experience for you.

We would also like to clarify our position about people who complain about this. Every ad includes information about this policy. We talk about it on our website prior to the show.&nbsp; The blurb on the ticketing page talks about it. We talk about it at the beginning of the show and again at the end of the show. We make it easy to opt out.&nbsp; We believe that the hundreds of people who benefit from this outweigh the two complaints that we have had from people who were either not paying attention or were willfully stupid.

Thanks,
Paul

Quotes from the show

“Musical chairs is like pre-school Darwinism.” Paul Nathan

“I like to play hang man with a real noose. It makes things more exciting.” Paul Nathan

“I am in heaven. I didn’t expect to see so many of you here.” Paul Nathan

“You are so cute… I want to snort you like a diet pill.” Paul Nathan

“Children are like precious flowers… I like to spray them with weed killer and make necklaces out of their heads.” Paul Nathan

Quotes about winning the Editor’s Choice Award for best Children’s Show

“We are here to meet single moms and make money… This prize was a total shock to us.” Paul Nathan

“It’s hard to believe they could win anything… Look at them. They are old and fat.” Kamee Abrahamian – Show spokeswoman

“Being the lawyer for an award winning show is great. I get to charge more.” Paul Spiegel – Show’s Lawyer

“Don’t give him an award… You just validate his bad behavior.” John Anaya

“Does the award come with beer?” John Anaya

“Great… Now the magician is going to celebrate by going out and eating cake. That’s just going to make him fatter – Not jollier, just fatter.”

Quotes about parents

“Two years ago we had a couple of dads get into a fight over the last three tickets at the box office. I know it’s shameful but I am a little bit proud of that.” Paul Nathan

“Being a parent usually means putting up with a lot of horrible noise and bad cartoons. The magician is noisy and bad but he is too fat to be a cartoon.” John Anaya

Quotes from Paul’s lawyer

“Paul is the Hunter S. Thompson of children’s performers. That’s why he keeps me close at hand.” Paul A. Spiegel, IHC legal counsel.

“The best part of being a lawyer for this show? Paul pays me handsomely. He HAS to!” Paul A. Spiegel, IHC legal counsel.

“Between parents getting in fistfights over tickets at the box office and confusion over the photo policy and keeping Paul out of jail for selling absinthe this show keeps me pretty busy.” Paul A. Spiegel, IHC legal counsel.

Quotes about kids

“kids are like little adults but with naps” Paul Nathan

“Children are a horrible invention… They are short, loud, and pay concession pricing.” Paul Nathan

“My daughter loves this show.” John Anaya

“Paul does this show for the money, I do it to meet single moms.” John Anaya

“John is full of it. I am totally in this show to meet single moms… And for the money.” Paul Nathan

“Working this show is like running a pre-school – Not the audience… I am talking about Paul and John – It’s like they didn’t have mommy to match their sox for them.” Kamee Abrahamian Associate Producer – I Hate Children Children’s Show

“Hate is a difficult word to defend against in court.” Paul Speigal, IHC Lawyer

“The hardest part about being a lawyer for this show? Getting Paid” Paul Speigal, IHC Lawyer

“Paul is the Hunter S. Thomsan of childrens perfromers. He needs to keep a lawyer on hand.” Paul Speigal, IHC Council

“I don’t hate kids. I hate babies… I’m just compensating” – Thomas John, IHC staff writer

“I voted for “Baby Tossing” for the 2012 Olympic Games” –Thomas John, IHC staff writer

“It’s easy to write jokes about kids…getting the lawyer to approve them is the hard part” -Thomas John, IHC staff writer

Quotes about parents

“Parents are great. They have this playfulness about them that melts my heart.” Paul Nathan

“Being a parent gives you an excuse to ride the rides and dance like an idiot because you are doing it for your kids.” John Anaya

“We wanted to make a “I Love Parents Parent Show” but apparently there is already a market for that on onlyfans” –Thomas John, IHC staff write

“I love parents, they make up 3/4’s of my favorite words: apparently, parenthetical, and transparent”-Thomas John, IHC staff writer

“Parents are great. Who else is going to pay the ransom?”-Thomas John, IHC staff writer

Quotes about families

“As the only parent in the show I think I speak with an added authority when I say… The Magician is FAT!” John Anaya

Quotes about traveling with kids

“It’s not the kids that we hate when we travel… It’s the parents. The parents that refuse to stop their horrible child from being horrible. It’s the horrible adults with their bad genes and worse parenting skills. It’s the parents who know that their kids are awful but inflict them on the rest of us. I don’t believe in hell but after eight hours on a long haul with a kid kicking my seat while his mom lets him I hope and pray that there is and that his parents reside there for a long long time.”

Quotes about your partner

“He’s fat!” John Anaya about co-star, Paul Nathan

“I’m not sure what he does.” Paul Nathan about co-star, John Anaya

“He has the biggest head you have ever seen. I was afraid he would scare the kids with his big head.” Paul Nathan about co-star, John Anaya

List of things you love

Paul Nathan
Long walks on the beach, quiet children, high grosses.

John Anaya
Slow blues, quiet magicians, cheap drinks

List of thinks you hate

Paul Nathan
Snot, bad kids, parents who let their kids be bad, 

John Anaya
Pop music, closing time, magician

If you love your children take them to The I Hate Children Children’s show. The best show for families in the whole wide world.

Winner of Best Children’s Show at the biggest theater festivals in the world.

The show sells out so click here to book your tickets now.

Great Star Theater

636 Jackson Street

San Francisco, CA 94133

Great Star Box Office:

Ticketing@greatstartheater.org